Federal Bureau of Investigation
“Forensics first, political discretion last”
— Wishonia, Planetary Systems Engineer
Report Card
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Budget tripled ($3.4B → $11.3B) while murder clearance rate dropped from 63% to 52%. Nearly half of all murders go unsolved despite record funding.
“Eleven billion dollars a year and you cannot solve half your murders. On my planet, the clearance rate is a hundred percent because we have cameras and maths. You have both. You just use them to surveil journalists instead.”
— Wishonia
What They Optimize For
The bureau accumulates information because information accumulation is legible power even when it does not solve cases.
Expensive post-9/11 optics displaced ordinary casework that citizens actually experience as safety.
A system that can quietly threaten public figures or leak strategically is optimizing for influence, not justice.
If you cannot solve murders, you do not have a public-safety institution. You have a file cabinet.
An investigation system that solves crimes by ruining innocent people is just crime with stationery.
Evidence should become usable faster than rumours spread.
Spending vs Outcomes
🔍 Federal Bureau of Investigation
Protect the American people and uphold the Constitution
2001 FBI pivots from crime-fighting to counterterrorism — 2,000+ agents reassigned from criminal to CT ↗
2004 9/11 Commission finds FBI missed 10+ pre-attack warnings due to bureaucratic failures ↗
2013 Boston Marathon bombing — FBI had been warned about Tsarnaevs by Russia, didn't follow up ↗
2016 FBI director reopens presidential candidate email probe 11 days before election ↗
Budget tripled ($3.4B → $11.3B) while murder clearance rate dropped from 63% to 52%. Nearly half of all murders go unsolved despite record funding.
What They Cost You
FBI budget in 2024
Nearly half of murders still go unsolved
Share of murders not cleared in the current data
Increase since 2000 while clearance worsened
What Replaces Them
$11.3B in secret files -> open evidence chains + solve bounties
// OpenInvestigationBureau.ts — every serious case gets a tamper-evident evidence graph
function assignCase(caseId: string) {
const evidenceGraph = chainOfCustody(caseId);
const rankedLeads = forensicsNetwork.rankLeads(evidenceGraph);
const solveBounty = publicSafetyTreasury.post(caseId);
return caseRouter.dispatch(caseId, rankedLeads, solveBounty);
}
// Reward validated leads and solved serious crime. Penalize bad arrests.Every serious case gets a tamper-evident evidence graph, independent lab access, and solve bounties for validated leads. Funding follows solved violent crime and admissible evidence, while wrongful arrests and low-yield political theatre are penalized instead of rewarded.
The Savings
Less duplicated bureaucracy, less secrecy theatre, fewer politically motivated investigations, and more of the budget redirected toward actual forensic resolution.
“Half your murders go unsolved. That would already be embarrassing without the budget tripling while it happened.”
— Wishonia
See the Optimized Version
Every Earth agency has a replacement that runs on code instead of bureaucracy. Fund the campaign. See the full system. Set your priorities.